My friend is a 19 years old guy who at this moment is in college. In one of his classes he became friends with some people who later invited him to a cottage for the weekend about three weeks ago. In the cottage he met someone who unfortunately has a boyfriend; the first night there they had a party. After a couple drinks he found the courage to ask her to dance. The dance later turned into a small conversation. After talking, he realized that he liked her, but unfortunately they did not speak much after that night. After their trip to the cottage, my friend thought he would not talk to her anymore, but he was wrong. The next day the girl added him on Facebook. They began to talk every day until they decided to have a date. That day they talked a lot of what was happening between them and he found out that she has been in a really long relationship. Despite of it, she told him she was very interested in him and had never felt the same for someone else. After listening to my friend’s story he told me he was a bit scared because he does not know what to do because she mentioned that she was willing to give up everything to be with him and start something new. He told me all that, and asked me what I would do and if I could give him some advice. Before I gave him any advice I asked him some questions that I needed to know and I asked him to be very honest with me. We had a really long conversation, and he told me he was willing to give up many things too, but at the same time he feels selfish because his happiness might become the sadness of another man.

After listening to everything he had to say I said, “Look, if I were you I would hang out with her again and speak clearly with her one more time. Make sure to make things clear between you two and make her realize what is actually going on, because she is in a relationship of many years.” Then I gave him another option and said, “you might also give her some time alone so she can consider everything like her thoughts and feelings, and like that she will make the right decision, or “you could simply keep going with her plan of breaking up with her boyfriend and see where things go, remember you are still young and you should enjoy life”

I also thought that I did not consider my friend’s feelings; I was just telling him what he must do with her and not about her. I was being so rational and I found out that people can also think with their hearts. Therefore I could give him another kind of advice like, “I would live the moment and let all the feelings come out”, I said, “If I were you I would think if she come out in that way, I must not let her go”.

Finally he was really grateful and he heard every advice I tried to give him. My friend told me he just needed a good friend who was able to listen the situation he is living. I hope he make the right decision, though. Well, he is my friend I just want him to be happy.

Sebastián Tamayo.